Cindy and I spent Easter Week in Florida. We go every year and stay at Paradise Lakes in a rented Condo. Paridise Lakes is a clothing optional resort not to far from Tampa.
Cindy's parents live in Daytona across the state from Tampa. Her dad has not been doing very well since having heart surgery 3 yrs ago. We visited her parents in the beginning of the week. Her dad nevert leaves his recliner and her poor mother has to help him with everything. We have been trying to convice her it is time for him to be in assisted living. She feels guilty and wants to continue caring for him. It is like a slow death for both of them. We convince her to visit a Vetrens Administration facility not far from where they live. A nice facility, more hospital like, then nursing home looking. But it is all they can afford.
I think my mother-in-law is convinced that she must do this and it will be doable.
The next day she gets a call they have room for him. She is not ready for this and turns it down.
We drive back for Easter and after many discussions she tells us she is ready to put him in the nursing facility. Cindy and I are scheduled to fly home the following day, but Cindy has to stay to help and give her mother support. I change Cindy's airline tickets at triple the original cost and take my leave to get home.
Things go well and Pete is now in the VA. Cindy's mother, Shirely, is wracked with guilt. She talks about getting him new clothes, going every day to get dirty laundry and bring it home for her to wash.
Cindy comes home and she is wracked with guilt. She should have stayed. But she has her teaching job. Our daughter is getting married in June in Cape Cod and there are still many details to attend to. We are both retiring in June.
So here we are at the best time of our lives. Empty nestors, just a wedding to pay for. Now the worry of elderly parents over a thousand miles away.
We are now wondering if our plans to sell the house, buy a motor home and travel the country will come to fruition.
I know this is a familiar story for our generation. My parents generation had their elderly parents move in with them. The delt with many more problems, but certainly seemed to servive everything with more calmness and certainty that everything would be ok. I wish I could speak to them now to find out how they did it. Maybe that is why they are the greatest generation.
I know we will also survive, but why so much angst?
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Weekend in NYC
Thursday night, Cindy and I leave for NYC. It is the annual international ophthalmic meeting I have been going to for over 30 years.
We have formed a ritual with my partners the assures a wonderful, fun filled, and somewhat drunken weekend.
Fridays are reserved for the exhibit hall. It is that night the fun really begins. We go to a restaurant I discovered years ago. It is called Sammy's Rummanian Steak House. It is a hole in the wall near the lower East Side. There is a keyboard player, kind of like Adam Sandler in the "Wedding Singer". The first few years it was just a few of us. Now there may be from 15 to 25 people.
This is an old Jewish Eastern European Style Restaurant. On the tables are bottles of Seltzer, the kind with CO2 cartridges ( think of the 3 Stooges). Also the best Jewish style ryebread. They serve a liter bottle of Vodka encased in a block of ice. You pay for what you drink. We have gone through as many as 11 bottles in one night, the record. On more then one occasion more then one of us have been carried home on our shield. Chopped Liver is made right at the table. Each table has a jar of chicken schmultz that is used for the chopped liver (as good as my mother made). It can also be used on the rye bread instead of butter. My grandfather used to do that. There is also stuffed derma. By the time we are finished with these I rarely can eat the main course.
Most people order the Tenderloin. It comes in 3 sizes, the smallest covers the plate and I can never finish it.
The whole time vodka is flowing by the shot out of the bottle encased in the ice. No mixers here.
Desert is rugala and egg creams. The egg creams are made with Mrs. Foxes Chocolate and a little milk and much splashing of the seltzer.
The keyboard player plays broad way tunes and easy listening tunes. It seems every half hour he plays the Hora and we are up dancing and pulling other diner up to dance with us.
One year we invited one of our big contact lens suppliers representative to join us. He had such a wonderful time the next year he brought 3 others from his company. I told him when he walked in the first time his face would fall tio the floor and he would think he made the worst mistake of his life. He had his choice of any restaurant in NYC. He loved it. Since then many others have heard of our fun time and join us.
I have fallen out of the Limo at the hotel on more then one occasion and all are claiming their Jewish heritage by the end of the night.
Cindy and I usually go to a Saturday Matanee. One year I missed due to way to much drinking at Sammy's. This year we will see Billy Elliot. Saturday night is a theater night as well. My partners join us and this year we will see South Pacific, followed by a late night dinner. I hate eating before a show because it can make you drowsy. So everyone goes along with my late nights on Saturday.
Sunday we may meet up with my twin sister who lives in NYC and possibly end up at a deli for brunch.
This is my last show before I retire. I am looking forward to it. I will miss it.
This year I must take in every moment and enjoy it.
I think I will post another blog on monday night and see if I survive this weekend.
We have formed a ritual with my partners the assures a wonderful, fun filled, and somewhat drunken weekend.
Fridays are reserved for the exhibit hall. It is that night the fun really begins. We go to a restaurant I discovered years ago. It is called Sammy's Rummanian Steak House. It is a hole in the wall near the lower East Side. There is a keyboard player, kind of like Adam Sandler in the "Wedding Singer". The first few years it was just a few of us. Now there may be from 15 to 25 people.
This is an old Jewish Eastern European Style Restaurant. On the tables are bottles of Seltzer, the kind with CO2 cartridges ( think of the 3 Stooges). Also the best Jewish style ryebread. They serve a liter bottle of Vodka encased in a block of ice. You pay for what you drink. We have gone through as many as 11 bottles in one night, the record. On more then one occasion more then one of us have been carried home on our shield. Chopped Liver is made right at the table. Each table has a jar of chicken schmultz that is used for the chopped liver (as good as my mother made). It can also be used on the rye bread instead of butter. My grandfather used to do that. There is also stuffed derma. By the time we are finished with these I rarely can eat the main course.
Most people order the Tenderloin. It comes in 3 sizes, the smallest covers the plate and I can never finish it.
The whole time vodka is flowing by the shot out of the bottle encased in the ice. No mixers here.
Desert is rugala and egg creams. The egg creams are made with Mrs. Foxes Chocolate and a little milk and much splashing of the seltzer.
The keyboard player plays broad way tunes and easy listening tunes. It seems every half hour he plays the Hora and we are up dancing and pulling other diner up to dance with us.
One year we invited one of our big contact lens suppliers representative to join us. He had such a wonderful time the next year he brought 3 others from his company. I told him when he walked in the first time his face would fall tio the floor and he would think he made the worst mistake of his life. He had his choice of any restaurant in NYC. He loved it. Since then many others have heard of our fun time and join us.
I have fallen out of the Limo at the hotel on more then one occasion and all are claiming their Jewish heritage by the end of the night.
Cindy and I usually go to a Saturday Matanee. One year I missed due to way to much drinking at Sammy's. This year we will see Billy Elliot. Saturday night is a theater night as well. My partners join us and this year we will see South Pacific, followed by a late night dinner. I hate eating before a show because it can make you drowsy. So everyone goes along with my late nights on Saturday.
Sunday we may meet up with my twin sister who lives in NYC and possibly end up at a deli for brunch.
This is my last show before I retire. I am looking forward to it. I will miss it.
This year I must take in every moment and enjoy it.
I think I will post another blog on monday night and see if I survive this weekend.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
A New Week
It is Monday, and being the ever optomistic optometrist I started my day at the office in my usual manner. I take a walk around the office, first stop optical laborotory where a loudly say "GOOD MORNING" in a very loud voice. This usually startles everyone who has their back to the door. Then out to the dispensary with another loud greeting to frame stylist and patients. Onward to the front desk and reception area with a loud "GOOD MONRING, IT IS A BEAUUTEEFUL DAY IN PENNSYLAVANIA!"
Most of the receptionist, those who are not on the phone will acknowledge me. In the reception area patients may be smiling, I look around and wish them all a "GOOD MORNING". I have done this for years to try and start the day in a happy mood. On the rare occasions I do not do this the staff wants to know if I am sick. Today a new patient, one who brought her young son in, told me she asked if I was the doctor seeing her child. When she was told I was she said she knew she was in the right place. I enjoyed working with her son and I will be able to help him and his turned eye.
This is those times I really love what I do and hate the fact I will be retiring in a few months.
My partner questions me about my exit contract. It seems my lawyer is stumped on some details. I have had a great business partnership of 27 yrs. I don't want it to end up with us becoming antognistic and confrontational in the end. And the dumb thing is I had the outline of this exit in our orignal partnership papers from 27 yrs. ago. We have been refining it for the last 4 yrs. Then I realized some important details were neglected and we are in a negociation I wanted to avoid. I know we will settle it and June 30th I will be retired.
Sometimes all I think about are the perks I will miss. My parking spot closest to the door. Name at the top of the door. The lunches with my partners talking about nothing and talking about vision or business. Of course I will miss the business credit card
I sit and think about retirement. I am looking forward to playing golf for real. I may play 3 times a week. I am looking forward to the lack of structure. Not rushing to the office, rushing to stay on time with patients, rushing thru lunch and rushing to get home to see 24 or American Idol.
So I am conflicted about retiring and knowing that I will be ok with enough hobbies to keep my busy full time.
I know we will be ok financially. I married a rich school teacher with a great pension. Little did I know 20 yrs ago when we met that she would keep me in the manner to which I had grown accostomed.
I am thinking about the other things Cindy and I plan to do. I think I will save that for another day. That way I will beat my past record of only 2 entries in my blog.
Labels: retirement draft 3/16/09 by od Bob Delete
It is Monday, and being the ever optomistic optometrist I started my day at the office in my usual manner. I take a walk around the office, first stop optical laborotory where a loudly say "GOOD MORNING" in a very loud voice. This usually startles everyone who has their back to the door. Then out to the dispensary with another loud greeting to frame stylist and patients. Onward to the front desk and reception area with a loud "GOOD MONRING, IT IS A BEAUUTEEFUL DAY IN PENNSYLAVANIA!"
Most of the receptionist, those who are not on the phone will acknowledge me. In the reception area patients may be smiling, I look around and wish them all a "GOOD MORNING". I have done this for years to try and start the day in a happy mood. On the rare occasions I do not do this the staff wants to know if I am sick. Today a new patient, one who brought her young son in, told me she asked if I was the doctor seeing her child. When she was told I was she said she knew she was in the right place. I enjoyed working with her son and I will be able to help him and his turned eye.
This is those times I really love what I do and hate the fact I will be retiring in a few months.
My partner questions me about my exit contract. It seems my lawyer is stumped on some details. I have had a great business partnership of 27 yrs. I don't want it to end up with us becoming antognistic and confrontational in the end. And the dumb thing is I had the outline of this exit in our orignal partnership papers from 27 yrs. ago. We have been refining it for the last 4 yrs. Then I realized some important details were neglected and we are in a negociation I wanted to avoid. I know we will settle it and June 30th I will be retired.
Sometimes all I think about are the perks I will miss. My parking spot closest to the door. Name at the top of the door. The lunches with my partners talking about nothing and talking about vision or business. Of course I will miss the business credit card
I sit and think about retirement. I am looking forward to playing golf for real. I may play 3 times a week. I am looking forward to the lack of structure. Not rushing to the office, rushing to stay on time with patients, rushing thru lunch and rushing to get home to see 24 or American Idol.
So I am conflicted about retiring and knowing that I will be ok with enough hobbies to keep my busy full time.
I know we will be ok financially. I married a rich school teacher with a great pension. Little did I know 20 yrs ago when we met that she would keep me in the manner to which I had grown accostomed.
I am thinking about the other things Cindy and I plan to do. I think I will save that for another day. That way I will beat my past record of only 2 entries in my blog.
Labels: retirement draft 3/16/09 by od Bob Delete
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)